


O fair bros! (Hamlet's soliloquy)

by blood_and_gore



Series: Stage [3]
Category: Hamlet - All Media Types, Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: Capitalism sucks, Crack, FPP- Facebook Group, Facebook, For Polling Purposes, Gen, Iambic Pentameter, Monologue, Parody, Pasta, Sandwich, Soliloquy, Sonnet Form, polling, quizzes, this is very deep and meaningful, to be or not to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 03:05:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17820620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blood_and_gore/pseuds/blood_and_gore
Summary: To poll, or not to poll- that is the question. Hamlet has an existential crisis wondering if perhaps all pasta is merely salad in disguise.





	O fair bros! (Hamlet's soliloquy)

**Author's Note:**

> for the Facebook group, For Polling Purposes.

"To poll, or not to poll- that is the question.  
Whether 'tis nobler to add an extra option,  
The yes and no of outrageous answers  
Or be salty, and to argue,  
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep-  
No more- and by a sleep to say we end  
The polling, and the thousand hours awake  
This site is prone to; whether soups are salads  
Or a devout wish. To die, to sleep-  
To sleep- perchance to dream. Ay, there's the yikes  
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come  
Are of polling, and forsaking our souls  
Your Netflix: paused. There's the respect  
That makes pasta of so large a salad.  
For who would bear the comments, scorns, and likes  
Th'admin's wrong (forget I said that;)  
The boredom as we log in, and the spurns  
Of those who, of polling, are th'unworthy folk,  
When they themselves a poll not make,  
And why? because they have joined not,  
The group and groupchats. who would fardels bear,  
To languish in a single Facebook group,  
But dread of losing WiFi signals still,  
The undiscovered group from whose fun  
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,  
And makes us rather pissed on polls we have  
And fly to conclusions that we know not of?  
Thus conscience does forsake us pollers all,  
And as we type we make: our resolution  
Contrary to the peasants' thoughts,  
And enterprise of great awe and importance,  
With regard their comments turn awry  
And have the wrong opinion. Chill, y'all.  
O fair bros!- You, in your orisons,  
Us vegetarians remember."

-Hamlet


End file.
